tired

Update: Amy’s Life

Currently looking for an internship and if anyone has any bright ideas let me know! I would really appreciate it. My friend had an interview for an internship with the Today Show but didn’t go to the interview. How dare he! How could he miss such a grand opportunity! I would kill just to get Al Roker’s coffee in the morning!

Also work is killing me slowly. 6 days a week, with school and homework, and no life- something’s gotta give and my grades are slowly struggling to stay straight A’s like they usually are.

I hope to make it past this semester so in the fall I can hopefully manage things better than I have. I mean I’ve done well so far but I need more sleep and so my grades are slowly starting to suffer.

The weather is also really nice and I can’t wait until school is out so I can spend my days at the sand bar and my nights at BK.

Another new thing is that I have a boyfriend.

And for the first few days (first week, honestly) I didn’t really feel like a girlfriend, not that I know exactly how a girlfriend should feel, and I was panicking because well.. I’m so young,and this is new, and I’m not ready for anything serious – because it seems to me that I’ve only ever really committed to myself, BK, and my friends and family…

But I like this boy.. and when you like a boy being their girlfriend is like the ultimate privilege?

So within the past week I have come to realize that my communication skills are not exactly above anyone else’s when it comes to relationships – I think.

This past week I was really afraid of the whole idea of being exclusive, I knew I wanted to be with this boy but I didn’t know if I wanted to be exclusive because that would mean no more other boys and what if I didn’t want that? Heaven knows I like options.

But thankfully, this boy and I can talk about everything and I’m not afraid to tell him my concerns. He probably thinks I’m nuts, but he’s also really patient.

Which is a plus for me.

After we talked for what felt like forever, I felt better, I mean I felt vulnerable because he knows all my concerns and where these concerns derived from. but somehow for whatever reason he still wants me around.

“Why’d you pick me over all the other girls you know?”
“Because I like listening to you more than the others.”

The epitome of simple. And I like it.

Homework is a Ho & She Know She Bad

Homework in college is nothing like homework in high school. In high school you can decide not to do it and sleep easy but in college you can decide not to do your homework, and if you’re anything like me, you’ll lose sleep.

I procrastinate my homework up until midnight for no good reason and then stay up until the crack of butt to finish it because the idea of actually not doing my homework scares the shit outta me. 

A perfect example would be tonight. I am currently procrastinating my homework solely to blog about how bad homework really can be. And she can be pretty bad.

Today is Tuesday and I took Tuesday off from work so I could work on my homework and get some sleep for once… Because usually Tuesdays are my busiest days and I typically wake up at 8:50 am and run from place to place on campus trying to accomplish everything I need to accomplish before I run into work and get home at 1 am and do homework until 4 or 5 am wake up at 7:50 am to run to class at 8 and continuing running until well after 5 pm, but this week was going to be different! I was going to be productive! So I could sleep!

Ask me what I’ve done today… nothing remotely productive… I mean I did stuff but didn’t finish anything except for my dinner.. so that tells you I haven’t gotten very ahead with my homework for the week

I have to go to work tomorrow and I honestly dread the idea of putting on my uniform – mostly because I haven’t washed it since I wore it last..

I’m halfway done with the semester and I can’t wait until the only thing I have to do it wash my work uniform… it’s sad that that is what I have to look forward to.

And I’m not saying I don’t live a good life but gosh I wish my life were more exciting! When was the last time I did something scary?! Or something new?! Or read a new book? Or got outta town?! THAT WASN’T FOR A GRADE

I hope when I get outta school I’ll make time for things that I wanna do and don’t need to do

But until then, back to the daily grind

xoxo

Colds Suck & so does Divorce

You think life is good, nothing can get you down!

And then these little buggies called “germs” just decide to camp out in your super hawt bod and then before you know it you’re sick.

S-I-C-K. And you’re miserable.

Boogers everywhere! You can’t swallow your own spit let alone medicine… Your whole body aches, you’re tired more than you already are… and you don’t want to go to class, but you’re a good student so you do but oh! the annoying people in class are definitely more annoying when you’re sick…

You’re cranky and no one can comfort you – least not really because you’re sick

And you sweat in your sleep, and your body’s disgusting… oh! and your voice is all deep and shakey and you sound like a grown man about to cry..

All this, thanks to the COMMON COLD. haha

I’d say it’s not that bad, but damnit it’s definitely not the best!

And then there’s divorce. And usually you don’t have to worry about it because your parents don’t get divorced. Just anyone that’s not your parents because your parents are like… Jim and Pam from the Office, or they’re like… Mickey and Minnie Mouse, or like.. Daisy and Donald Duck… or like Cinderella and Prince Who-ever and they don’t get divorced.

Even if your parents mention divorce you don’t really think that’s for real-iezzz because they love each other.. people who love each other don’t get divorced; duh.

But somehow over the course of 20-something years your parents lost their way, stopped loving each other, have nothing in common, and are getting a divorce.

You’re bummed out and this is bad news all on top of your cold… and well your weekend is shot. Boogers, cough, fever, and your parents are getting a divorce.

At least, at least you’re older now. At least the only way this really effects you is emotionally. It shouldn’t keep you from moving forward in your life. Their divorce doesn’t result in you having to rotate where you live on weekends and I suppose I should be grateful for that.

I don’t think I ought to worry about whether or not I’ll get divorce because to be honest it ain’t lookin’ like I’m getting married anytime soon.

Which is perfect considering how I got mail notifying me that my claim for assistance has been denied, how nice. I feel like I deserved a phone call… you’re being rejected for not being poor enough… weird.. because if you’d look at my pantry/bank account I got poor all over me.

Anyways point is sometimes colds suck, and sometimes your parents decide that their journey together is over and you can’t hate them for that, and sometimes your claim is denied and you stay a broke college student for longer.

And the dream continues!

Going too far.

It’s been a minute and my head is full of things I’ve got to say.

So I’ll just post new posts until… it’s social unacceptable and then I’ll probably keep going.

Anyways I’m not quite sure how long ago it was but sometime during this month I went too far. And I mean like too far with a quite a bit of things really… And frankly I tend to do that a lot… I find that I love something and then I do it until well I’ve gone too far..

I’m not saying it’s always bad because it could definitely be a good thing in some cases… not that I’m about to try and justify it but point is I went too far.

So what do you do? What happens after you cross that invisible line you didn’t know was there or that you saw but ignored or that you crossed for just a split second for the story… but the story wasn’t even half as good as you thought it’d be…

How do you fix it?

Well I managed to fix it, not a big deal, no biggie, done and done, so do you have to tell people when you’ve gone too far? Can’t I just keep things to myself? Do I have to share my life with everyone?

Don’t get me wrong, this is all rhetorical and I don’t by any means think that anyone is judging me.. but would it be better if no one ever knew?

Does sharing secrets actually bring you closer with others or does it just… not?

I don’t know, the gloomy weather has put me in a rather pensive mood.

My Halloween Week was very Halloween-ie

October is over and Halloween week is coming to an end…

And what do I have to show for it? Well let me tell you..

Last Friday:
Went to a par-tay, and got down.. at a “haunted” middle school… a little more raunchy than haunted..
I was Pocahontas, met Brooks from the Bachlorette and ladies he is as hot as he is on television.  Oh! &I kissed him on the cheek.. and he told me I was cute! ‘eeeeeeek!

Last Saturday:
I went to the Haunted Mill with a boy, and that was a really really really fun time. Kinda like that song… BTW I’m the biggest weenie, I’m such a ‘fraidy cat.

Monday:
Worst day ever. I was tired. I was grumpy. I was exhausted. And so were my roommates. We had a yelling match on campus and in front of everyone. Then died on the side walk. Then almost got hit by Shane’s car for laying on the side walk… shit my pants.. jk – no I’m not.. haha and then went to the store bought groceries.. but then it rained, and it rained hard, and most people say that you should dance in the rain.. or the joy that comes from getting caught in the rain.. FYI those are all lies when you live on the third floor and have 5928759826 bags of food. But then we carved pumpkins and that was fun. Mine.. didn’t turn out too bad, ha it wasn’t the best.. but it wasn’t awful ha

Tuesday: Nothing to report. Just another typical Tuesday I guess.

Wednesday:
Was just another hump day, I did a ton of homework that day. Actually this whole week it feels like I hardly left my living room couch because I had so much homework. But I did go on a date Wednesday night, ha I had a lot of fun, it was a good time and I’d do it again with the same guy ha and that’s all I have to say about that.

Thursday: HALLOWEEN!
I skipped class to write two of my papers that were due this morning. I managed to write both in five hours, I don’t know if that’s such a good pace but I’m definitely hoping to get an A on both. Haha now I didn’t skip class solely to get ahead in my academics.. I wanted to finish my homework so I could stay out all night and party, which is what we did. I was a hippie, flower child, whatever… I really loved wearing the flower headband  you know the beat? 😉 haha

So we went to this thing called the Uprising, and it was pretty fun. At first we were like “No one’s here!” but then everyone and their dog showed up. We got low. My roommates joke I’m the best dancer, and uh let’s be real.. they ain’t jokin’ 😉 haha we danced all night and there was a mosh pit and that was a bit cray-cray I got pushed, my hair pulled, feet stepped on, lost my friend’s bracelet -_- but thankfully ha at least I didn’t fall over.

Oh! And they had a platform for V.I.P’s and I wasn’t a V.I.P by any means but I got up there for awhile and that was really fun everyone cheering! ..and then my 40 seconds of fame was over because I got asked to get down because I wasn’t a V.I.P ;(

Ha but yah so that was fun, glad I didn’t stay home for Halloween… Got home late and then tried to watch a movie but ended up heading to bed because I was so T I R E D

And now today is, Friday:

Woke up at 9:52 this morning and I have class at 10:15 and I usually leave by 9:50 because class is on the other side of campus! But thankfully I got a ride, I also look like I got kicked in the face because I’m so tired haha (it’s not that bad but it feels like I’ve been kicked in the face)

So I got a ride, like I was saying, got to class right on time… which my professor didn’t even show but I turned in my paper.. bought a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch, almost fell asleep but managed to sit up long enough to tell you all about my week..

Life lessons for this week:
1.) Mondays are sometimes the worst day of the week, and if you get caught in the rain with your 58769275 bags of groceries and live on the top floor… just remember… “You CAN make it in one trip.”

2.) Skipping class is only okay if it will serve a better cause. I.E. so you can party later that night

3.) If you wake up late for class, lets hope you have a friend with a car. And if you don’t well… just go back to bed… unless you have a paper due in which case you’d better run.

4.) If you have a good first date, give yourself a pat on the back because that hardly ever happens.

5.) Dressing up for Halloween is fun and you should probably do it.

That’s all I got.. woo-hoo

xoxo

In Love with Love

I’m not saying that you can learn about love in a class but it was interesting to have things that I’ve thought about be put in a book.

This week we have been discussing love. The meaning of love, when you fall in love, how a woman feels when she falls in love, how a man feels, how can you tell if it’s love, the experience of passionate love, how to measure love, the different kinds of lovers, how to go from passionate love to companionate love, the difference between loving and liking. WhewSo much to cover, it’s mind boiling. A lot of food for though really.

If you could see my notes for this class.. I just have random scribbles everywhere.

We talked about this guy John Van Epp and all his ideas. One of his ideas was the “Know-Quo” how well you know someone. The Quo consists of:
Talk – mutual self disclosure
Time – minimum of 3 months to begin to know someone & he suggested that dating for 1 to 2 years would provide for a more successful marriage
Togetherness – engaging in a wide range of activities together

John Van Epp talks about sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. It’s just sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo interesting. This is what has been said about the bonding process in adult attachment:

People marry because they feel an overwhelming attachment of love; communication and conflict styles express and monitor attachment; intimacy, commitment, sex, trust and reliance are all components that produce attachment. 

Couples divorce because their experience of attachment has deteriorated; other couples reconcile because they rekindle attachment. 

Whew! That’s a lot to think about it isn’t it? I think it is, that’s why… that’s all I’ve got to say about what I’ve learned. 

Leave a comment! Let’s talk about it!