BYU-Idaho

Update: Amy’s Life

Currently looking for an internship and if anyone has any bright ideas let me know! I would really appreciate it. My friend had an interview for an internship with the Today Show but didn’t go to the interview. How dare he! How could he miss such a grand opportunity! I would kill just to get Al Roker’s coffee in the morning!

Also work is killing me slowly. 6 days a week, with school and homework, and no life- something’s gotta give and my grades are slowly struggling to stay straight A’s like they usually are.

I hope to make it past this semester so in the fall I can hopefully manage things better than I have. I mean I’ve done well so far but I need more sleep and so my grades are slowly starting to suffer.

The weather is also really nice and I can’t wait until school is out so I can spend my days at the sand bar and my nights at BK.

Another new thing is that I have a boyfriend.

And for the first few days (first week, honestly) I didn’t really feel like a girlfriend, not that I know exactly how a girlfriend should feel, and I was panicking because well.. I’m so young,and this is new, and I’m not ready for anything serious – because it seems to me that I’ve only ever really committed to myself, BK, and my friends and family…

But I like this boy.. and when you like a boy being their girlfriend is like the ultimate privilege?

So within the past week I have come to realize that my communication skills are not exactly above anyone else’s when it comes to relationships – I think.

This past week I was really afraid of the whole idea of being exclusive, I knew I wanted to be with this boy but I didn’t know if I wanted to be exclusive because that would mean no more other boys and what if I didn’t want that? Heaven knows I like options.

But thankfully, this boy and I can talk about everything and I’m not afraid to tell him my concerns. He probably thinks I’m nuts, but he’s also really patient.

Which is a plus for me.

After we talked for what felt like forever, I felt better, I mean I felt vulnerable because he knows all my concerns and where these concerns derived from. but somehow for whatever reason he still wants me around.

“Why’d you pick me over all the other girls you know?”
“Because I like listening to you more than the others.”

The epitome of simple. And I like it.

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What Do I Know

I am being completely honest when I say I don’t know much about anything. I don’t remember anything for very long. I don’t know random mind blowing facts about the universe.

And I wouldn’t say that I’m not smart, but I definitely wouldn’t say that I am brilliant.

Although the things I do know may seem few… I think it’ll have to do…

I don’t necessarily tend to share my religious beliefs all the time but today I am, so you can skip this post if you’d like but if you’d like to know what I know to be true then keep reading.

These past few weeks have been up and down, and a little crazy. Some days I do all my homework for the week, others I sleep too much, or I work 15 hours at BK.

#noregrets

But as I’ve reflected on it all it’s been pretty nice.

With that said I just wanted to let you know that God lives. And He loves us so much that He provided a way to free us from the bonds of sin.
He sent His son Jesus Christ to die for us. Christ knows our sorrows perfectly.
Even if you and I were to commit the same sin because the repercussions of that sin would effect us differently Christ suffered for that same sin twice and experienced our different pain, remorse and sorrow for that same exact sin.
I am just so grateful that our Savior was so willing to suffer and die for us so that we could be free.
Ha if you know me or my blogs at all you know that all I ever want is to be free.
Free of debt, of fear, of sadness, of responsibility, of sin. And through the Atonement we can be at peace.
Every day I wanna be better and through the Atonement I can be.
God lives. He loves us. Jesus is the Christ. And I just wanted to share this message with you. It’ll bring happiness to everyone that is in search of a greater meaning in their life.
I mean that’s what its done for me.

So life can get pretty hectic… & we all have to find a way to deal with our problems. And our problems can range from something petty like “the boy I like doesn’t like me and I just want him to like meeeeeeee!” (I deal with this all too often these days) to something a little more serious like achieving and maintaining financial stability (I deal with this, too) and I’ll be honest sometimes it feels like the petty boy problems are more difficult to deal with than the money issues.

How we deal is going to be different for everyone just like how our stressful situations are different.

Coping: is expending conscious efforts to solve personal and interpersonal problems, and seeking to master, minimize or tolerate stress or conflict.

Religion, writing, music, dancing, talking, singing, working, cutting, sex, drugs, alcohol these are just a few common coping skills that people engage in.

Clearly there are some coping skills that’re better than others, healthy coping skills should bring families closer together

Healthy coping skills can save a life.

I think that as we grow up and become more mature the ways we choose to cope will change – sometimes for the better but not always. And I’ll tell you why!

So once upon a time, not too long ago, I used poor coping skills to deal with my problems. Easy outs like sex, drugs, and lots of alcohol. These things didn’t really make my problems go away. They just helped me forget about them for a night or 3 and then I’d have to deal with my problems from the week as well as the consequences of my poor choices from the weekend. I wasn’t happy, at least not really. These things didn’t help solve my problems at home, or my social problems, didn’t help my relationship problems, and didn’t help me in the work place. They just made things worse.

Long story short I made a change, its been hard to change my lifestyle but it’s been two years and I definitely believe that I’ve become a better person. Sometimes I get a little down about who I used to be but then I remind myself not to dwell on my past, disappointments, or failures, because I can’t trip on something behind me. Same goes for you.

When you’re not using healthy coping skills it’s natural for depression and anxiety to set in. At least that’s what my professor says – but I mean what could he know? (just kidding.) 

Studies show that the most effective coping skill for traumatic events is changing what you value and the way you think about things. A positive attitude only leads to happiness, right? 

Speaking of happiness let’s change gears and talk about relationships…

Healthy relationships can also lead to happiness.

If it hasn’t become clear I’m a little afraid of committing, I have some theories as to why but we don’t have to diagnose it just yet.

But last week in class we tried to address the question, “When is it okay to quit a relationship? When is it okay to disengage?”

So first we tried to define relationship. There are tons of different types of relationships..

So the role of being a parent, caring as a parent we decided that if we can then we should do all that we can to be apart of our child’s life. The way we address the relationship may be different as time goes on but our interest shouldn’t change.

In this life our most difficult and stressful situations will be within our personal circle. Maintaining relationships isn’t easy, and I guess it isn’t really meant to be.

Maybe because relationships can get a little difficult I can’t get myself to commit for too long. I’m not saying I can’t do hard things, but look it’s gotta be worth it… It’s a personal problem, and to an extent I’m trying to work on it. Haha

I think that if the relationship isn’t fully functional, if it isn’t healthy, if it doesn’t allow you to grow together, if he doesn’t make you better, if he holds you back, if you find yourself giving up everything you’ve ever wanted just to keep him, then maybe you should reconsider – I mean not all of these things are deal breakers but they’re red flags.

I don’t know.. I mean I’m single in my 20’s,afraid of commitment, and taking a class about family relations, haha what does that tell you? Tells you I don’t know anything…

I mean I’ve really learned a lot about how to create a nourishing environment for relationships of all sorts. There are some things that just can’t be studied to develop a definite answer.

You can ask for advice, consult a professional, read a book, read a blog but.. disengaging at any point with anyone really is a personal choice.

That’s all I’ve got though..
Sweet dreams, until Sunday

Fertile Moaning Myrtle

My first post about class! Ugh, to be completely honest I’m not quite sure what direction I want to take this post.. So I figure that I’ll just ramble for awhile and perhaps this post will amount to a little something..

Earlier this week for class we had to read the first chapter of our book, Marriage & Family The Quest for Intimacy. There were a couple of interesting things in the chapter.. and continuing with honesty, by the time I had finished all thirty pages of the chapter my brain was about ready to explode with all the information on the different types of loneliness, the need for intimacy, and myths about relationships and marriages.

Another assignment for class we had to watch this 2 hour video on demographics which was also interesting. Now for everyone that hasn’t seen the movie and for those of you that don’t know what demographics are, let me be as so kind as to define it for you.

demographic

Basically this incredibly long movie was about the concern of the current fertility rate (the rate when the movie was actually produced) and how there was reason to be concerned that the Earth would become over populated and we would all die. (That’s an over exaggeration but basically that’s what it meant, sorta.)

Which btw the fertility rate has decreased significantly. Lower than ya mama can get on the dance floo’, teehee.. Seriously though it’s a problem we aren’t replacing ourselves. A good example of what will happen is the current economic issues in Greece. Some people have signed contracts to retire at 55 and because they never had a “baby boom”, for every 2 retirees there is only 1 working man. Hence the riots.

But anyways..

In class we talked about how the video made us feel.

Within the first thirty minutes of the movie there is a scientist that said, “…having multiple children is like robbing a bank.” Because the more children you have the less resources there are, and that it is a selfish act. & I of course have some feelings about his analogy.

First off I don’t think that having children is selfish. I think that it is quite a selfless act. Everything you give up, put aside, and the sacrifices you make to start family isn’t an easy thing.

Deciding how many children to have is a personal choice.

In devotional this past Tuesday Julie B. Beck said something quite profound,she said that you have two opportunities to have a good family experience. The first is the one you are born into and the second is when you create your own. I think that there is truth in that. Having a family of your own is bound to be one of the greatest experiences of this life. I’m not ready to have a family right now by any means, but I do like the idea of having my own one day… When the time is right and I’m ready.

And to think that one day I will be responsible to provide the best family experience that I can for my children, quite the responsibility if you ask me..

Sister Beck also said that having a family is a key component of fulfilling God’s great commandment to be fruitful and replenish the earth. Having a family is key to our salvation.

Personally think that the decision of how many children to have solely rests with me, my spouse, and God.

Sometimes sitting in class I feel like I’m way too young, and way too single to be as opinionated as I am about some of the things we talk about.. taking many factors into consideration like how I’m not even seeing anyone.

But at least I’ve found most of what we have discussed to be quite interesting.