All You Have

Think about everything you are.

Everything. From your pretty face to your opinion on abortion. From your personal values to the color of your toe nails.

Now that you’ve got a grasp on everything that makes up who you are pick your favorite things about yourself.

And I mean your real favorites. Things you want people to identify as you. I feel like the favorite things you have about yourself really capture what you think is the essence of yourself.

For me I love my wild hair, I love my laugh and my small collection of writing that’s been published.

My hair is big… It’s probably my best feature. It’s a million different shades of brown which might say something about me, but I haven’t really given that much thought. I do know that I hardly ever fix it. It’s long, wavy and sometimes resembles a bird’s nest. I like it though. When I get dressed in the mornings I always try to look put together. But my hair it’s wild like I really wish I could be.

My laugh is loud… Which basically captures my personality. I’m loud, vibrant and borderline obnoxious. I don’t think someone’s laugh can be vibrant, but I like my laugh. I also would use vibrant to describe myself. Point is: If I could have a personal tag line maybe it’d be, “Laughing all the way! Ha! Ha!”

Every single article that I have ever gotten published or even reviewed has been a personal success story for myself. I feel like I’ve put a little bit of myself into everything I submit to be published. Now not everything I write is gold hence why the pile is extremely small but my point is that what I have published says a lot about how I see certain things in the world.

Now why am I writing about this?

Well I have found myself giving away bits of myself to people, for reasons that I won’t post, in hopes that they will like what they see and stick around to learn more about me.

Sometimes I lead with my wit, or humor, or talents, or body. Obviously whatever you lead with can attract unwanted attention but I’m focusing on people that you end up wanted to keep around.

And maybe this post is more for myself than for anybody else.

I want to remind myself that I have so much more to offer than my big hair, loud laugh and small pile of published newspaper articles. I have profound thoughts, dreams, goals, fears, insecurities and doubts. I’m more than whatever people see at first glance.

I wouldn’t say that I’m bitter about certain situations that I’ve experienced recently mostly because I got myself there.

But I do have plenty of dating experience that is proof that I don’t know what men want. 

I also have 21 years of knowing what I really want and then doing things that are completely contrary to my long term goals for insignificant trial runs of models that were clearly labeled “not for you.”

Sometimes I’ll tell myself we all do that, just to make myself feel better.

In an effort to remind myself that I’ve got the world to offer I offer the internet this post full of doubt.


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