Open Door Policy

Later i promise to blog about the biggest lie I ever told but I just have to get this off my chest. It might be because last semester I had the best roommates I could’ve asked for or simply this semester I just don’t want to make new friends and I just want my old ones back… or it might just be me over analyzing and assuming that my new roommate doesn’t like me but I swear I’m sure of it…

So I am an extrovert. I’m a fan of being with a lot of people most of the time. I leave my door open intentionally so that if anyone wants to come into my room they can without knocking. I even sometimes change with my door open, ha the “Open Door Policy” never ends.. Until recently… IE this semester…

I got two new roommates this semester.. and I’m not saying everyone likes me all the time but I will admit that I am quite used to just about everyone liking me. Ha

But anyways my two new roommates: one is super super nice, I like her, but she has a boyfriend and is either with him or with her bff. Which is totally fine! I’m not worried because she’s never here but when we do see each other we talk plenty.

BUT my other new roommate… she is quiet. And now there’s nothing wrong with quiet! My best friend was really quiet when we first met too! We didn’t really know each other until I moved in with her! I get shy too sometimes! I can do quiet. 

What I can’t do is when I try to have conversation with you and all I get are one worded answers that make me feel like you’d rather do your baking in silence. Which if I wanted silence I would just go to my room and shut the door… and btw that may or may not be what I’ve been doing this past week.. and I may or may not hate that I feel so uncomfortable to the point of where I no longer leave my door open.

Now the one worded answers fine, fine you may not really have a longer answer for my petty “get to know you” questions and that’s just fine.

But when you’re chatting it up with my bffs but then get quiet as I walk in.. I don’t like that

I also don’t like when it’s just you and me there’s no talking, and if another person enters the room there’s still no talking, but when I leave you instantly start talking!

Girl world is place where you’re constantly judging, being judged and or waiting to share your judgments about others with your friends.

Not that I’m so self-absorbed that I think they’re talking about me, because I doubt it…

I’m just projecting because I feel very self-conscience in my own apartment whereas last semester I could’ve done just about anything and there’d be no judgement…

I also think this girl thinks I’m dumb…

Because I was talking to one of my roommates about my night and my new roommate her door was open and while I was talking she shut her door… Now I’m going crazy because I’m reading too much into it obviously but what if this girl has decided that she straight up doesn’t like me???

What did I do?? Nothing.

I even did her dishes this week! Not that, that’s a huge deal

And I don’t want her to like me, I don’t need her to like me! I just want to feel comfortable in my own apartment again…

And if you have any ideas on what in the world I could possibly do to.. better the situation.. leave a comment.. that’d be much appreciated…

That’s my rant for this morning.. Stay tuned for the biggest lie I ever told.

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