Today is Wednesday. Wednesday is hump day, and two days away from Friday. I have oodles of homework to do… I have other blogs to critique.. I have two miles to run.. and all I’m thinking about are boys.
In my interpersonal communications class we’ve been talking about self-concept. We’ve been discussing how we let others’ perception of who we are impact who we actually are. We all would probably agree that we only allow certain peoples’ opinions and expectations to impact how we view ourselves.
But what I was thinking is.. ladies.. why do we allow some semi-attractive boy we just met effect the way we see ourselves?
I.E. when a boy we like, or think we like, if he doesn’t tell you you’re pretty then we naturally assume that perhaps he just doesn’t think we are. Which may or may not be the case but then I guess I should just say some of us think that well maybe we aren’t. Or what if after a first date he doesn’t call you and so … sometimes I assume he just thinks I’m fat, or ugly, or just not cute.
Maybe these things aren’t related… ha I was just talking to my seeshta and so we ended up talking about it because she may or may not be feeling this way, hating herself because it didn’t work out with some Joe from the block that she just met.
I don’t know about you but I told her that we don’t have the time to be concerned with whether or not a boy is half in love with you after the first date. And there definitely isn’t enough time to spend hating yourself because you think you’re too fat, weren’t funny enough, or you should’ve worn different shoes.
Even if you had the best first date ever.. sometimes they just don’t call! Sometimes they just don’t fall in love with you!
And it isn’t because you weren’t good enough.. It’s the same reason you don’t swoon for the guy that’s chasing you.. he just isn’t what you’re looking for.
There’s nothing wrong with that!
There’s nothing wrong with a boy or a few boys passing you by without the slightest bit of interest, it doesn’t make you less valuable or less beautiful or less funny or less smart. It just means that you weren’t what he was looking for and baby girl there’s enough time for you to find what it is you’re looking for which is most important.
I’m only 20 years old I don’t have time to hate myself for everything I’m not but I do have time to perfect who I can become. And if a boy isn’t interested because I’m not his perfect woman than that’s fine because he probably isn’t my perfect man.
So to the boy that made my sister feel like she wasn’t good enough… Thank you. You weren’t good enough either.
And that’s how I feel about that..