Are We Communicating?

“Is this us communicating? Because I don’t like it.” I feel this way 40% of the time and usually that 40% wins out and I turn life back into a joke because I’d much rather laugh about it then feel the way communicating can sometimes make me feel, and that’s uncomfortable and vulnerable.

Communication. I’m never as good at it as I think I am. Why? Because sometimes the right words get stuck and we don’t know how to convey what it is we mean.And then I feel dumb, and want to crawl into a hole – which I tend to do. A lot of women are this way, not just women but I’m just saying.

But communication is important, we have to use our words sometimes. More often than not, actually.

And more often than not we don’t say half the things we meant to say when we muster all we have and tell someone, “We have to talk.”

It’s uncomfortable, you’re heart is racing, you feel like you’re gonna break out in a cold sweat, or worse… cry. It’s a work out all its own. You feel vulnerable, you don’t know if you should call them, or if you could just text them, or maybe write a letter, perhaps an email, or if you should schedule an appointment to tell them how a situation is affecting you.

But you know that if you don’t say anything you’ll just end up screaming it at the top of your lungs into a pillow, and they’ll never know. No one will ever know. And if you tell someone you minus as well not tell anyone because if it isn’t the right person there isn’t much another person can do for you; except offer you temporary relief.

A little bit of communication can make all the difference.

A little confrontation never hurt anyone, and if it did well it just was a good searing. It didn’t kill you and it’ll probably made you better.

Talking about nothing all the time never really built a sustainable foundation for anyone. In class we talked about communication and how it’s important.What does it take to really know someone? When you know, fill me in because I’m still figuring that out.

In class we talked about how it’s important to have shared experiences with your significant other, and more specifically your spouse.

Even though you’re married and you experience difficult and stressful situations doesn’t mean that you both see it in the same light. And the other won’t know how you’re doing if you haven’t discussed how you’re feeling. Your spouse can’t care for you if they don’t know how a situation is hurting you. None of us can read minds. None of us will ever really know someone well enough to know exactly how they feel, we might have an idea but they could surprise you. People grow, and change every day and until you develop the ability to read someone’s thoughts and body language perfectly… It’d probably be in your best interest to ask them.. Because we all know that assumptions only make you look like an a-hole. Ha regardless of your intention and then you’ll have to apologize for being an a-hole when that’s exactly what you were trying to avoid.

Point is: Communication is important. No one knows how you feel, and sometimes you don’t even know. But when you do, I’d suggest you make an effort to convey that to someone, the right someone involved in the situation. And if they care, which most people do, they’ll listen and make an effort to understand what you’re trying to say.

People who care communicate. 😉

We covered so much in class this past week and I don’t have the heart.. and mostly the time to shove all of it into one post.. So I won’t!

The last two topics we covered last week were coping and “When is it ever okay to quit a relationship? When is it appropriate to disengage?” And I’ll get to them! But… I’ve got other homework to attend to, sorry not sorry.

Until next time!

Hug hug, kiss kiss, hug hug, big kiss, little hug, kiss kiss, little kiss.

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