I’m not saying that you can learn about love in a class but it was interesting to have things that I’ve thought about be put in a book.
This week we have been discussing love. The meaning of love, when you fall in love, how a woman feels when she falls in love, how a man feels, how can you tell if it’s love, the experience of passionate love, how to measure love, the different kinds of lovers, how to go from passionate love to companionate love, the difference between loving and liking. Whew. So much to cover, it’s mind boiling. A lot of food for though really.
If you could see my notes for this class.. I just have random scribbles everywhere.
We talked about this guy John Van Epp and all his ideas. One of his ideas was the “Know-Quo” how well you know someone. The Quo consists of:
Talk – mutual self disclosure
Time – minimum of 3 months to begin to know someone & he suggested that dating for 1 to 2 years would provide for a more successful marriage
Togetherness – engaging in a wide range of activities together
John Van Epp talks about sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. It’s just sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo interesting. This is what has been said about the bonding process in adult attachment:
People marry because they feel an overwhelming attachment of love; communication and conflict styles express and monitor attachment; intimacy, commitment, sex, trust and reliance are all components that produce attachment.
Couples divorce because their experience of attachment has deteriorated; other couples reconcile because they rekindle attachment.
Whew! That’s a lot to think about it isn’t it? I think it is, that’s why… that’s all I’ve got to say about what I’ve learned.
Leave a comment! Let’s talk about it!