Systems, Rules, Boundaries, Oh My!


EVERY Relationship has a system


You have the


Exchange Theory: which is basically is where we try to keep our costs lower than our rewards. Where the cost is anything we invest whereas the reward is anything that is a satisfying outcome.


Symbolic Interaction Theory: This theory is where we are always creating meaning out of someone’s or our own actions.


Conflict Theory: basically helps us identify and deal with conflicts or contentions amongst individuals through their gender roles and their power struggles.


Family Systems Theory: THINK CAKE! We all have a part in our family. Each member of the family brings an important component to the recipe and in the end it comes out as C A K E… or well something good.


Rules, rules, rules, rules, rules, there are a lot of rules.


Rules like wash your hands before returning to work, rules like the customer is always right, like no running in Wal Mart, like no shirt, no shoes, no service, and if you sprinkle when you tinkle be a sweetie andwipe the seat-ie. Tee-hee


Or a rule we’ve all heard: whoever cares least, in a relationship, has the most power. We discussed this in class and of course there is some truth in this rule. But my professor stressed that the person who cares least has power on how close the two become. Which we all know is a large factor that determines what kind of relationship the relationship becomes.


With rules come boundaries.


There are 3 boundaries:


  1. Clear
  2. Diffuse
  3. Rigid


Clearly I think this stuff is really interesting.


My professor always says some really profound things. And for this week one of my favorite quotes would have to be:


“The sacrifice of the Savior wasn’t to gain our love but His way of showing His for us.”


Point is there are a BA-GILLION times of relationships but regardless there is a system that the relationship functions off of, rules for that relationship, and boundaries.




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